Joe Biden has been out of the house—the White House—and that’s never a good thing. Like the proverbial crazy relative kept out of view in the upper floor of a house, Joe should never be allowed to leave his White House office—at least until 2012 when America will hopefully return to sanity. The best way to secure this would be to brick over the door, leaving an opening just big enough to pass food and water. Unfortunately, no matter how much Obama would like to do this, he just can’t seem to give the order.

Standing before the European parliament, Joe declared Brussels had more of a right to be called the “Capital of the Free World,” than Washington, DC. To support his claim he cited the city’s history and its position as the capital of Belgium, the location of the European parliament and the headquarters of NATO. To say I was shocked is an understatement.

I suppose, in the future, when some upstart tyrant conquers his neighbors or kills off the minorities in his country, Europe will ride to the rescue with diplomats flocking to Brussels for help. Good! With Brussels firmly in control, the American military can be brought home from bases around the world. Finally, no longer needing a military, we can sit back and complain about Brussels. Then we, the greatest super-power on earth can finally become Canada.

Let’s consider the history of the US and Brussels for a moment to see who truly deserves this title. Only one look is needed. During WWII, when both nations (the US and Belgium) were involved in resisting Fascism, the US dashed her own sons against the walls of Fortress Europe to overthrow Hitler and liberate a continent. But what was Belgium doing? What is the best way to describe Belgium’s part in that fight for freedom? It is a single word, just on the tip of my tongue. Oh, that’s right, the word is “surrender.” Sorry Brussels, but you’ll have to do a bit more than rent space to some foreign agencies and make waffles to be the Capital of the Free World—keep up the waffles though.

Somebody grab Joe and muzzle him again. Perhaps he should follow the practice of his boss and stick to the teleprompter.